Brian has been working in L.A. today (what does “L.A.” stand for, you ask? …a Long way Away!!!!) so he won’t be back till late tonight. After putting Elliott down, I decided to take advantage of every minute I had to be ultra productive–so I showered, got the kitchen all cleaned up and the dishes done, started a couple loads of laundry, made my second dinner (don’t judge) and sat down for a nice quiet evening with one goal in mind: get our update letter written.
Well, as I waddled on over to sit down at my computer with my second dinner, something–HUGE–caught my eye and I stopped dead in my tracks. And then I laughed. And laughed again. You know–that nervous, giggle-laughter where you’re caught somewhere between shocked and freaked out even though you know what’s happening is really quite funny but your body is somehow frozen and the only part of you that works is your giggle button…yeah, that kind of laugh.
Can you see it there? Just “hanging out” right behind my computer?
Meet our new pet:
Why, hello there.
When my limbs started working again I instinctively went to grab Elliott so I could share the creature with him–just like I did earlier when the two bunnies were frolicking outside in the street or every time a new type of bug worms its way into our house or when a flock of birds is soaring through the sky. But, he was asleep. So I went to get Brian–but quickly remembered he wasn’t home! So I grabbed my third best buddy–my camera–and we shared in this ridiculous moment together.
But I just couldn’t stop laughing…at myself! And honestly, do you know why? Because it is a gecko*, and it had me so startled I couldn’t move. A gecko. Come on, folks. There are MUCH worse things to find crawling in your house. But the fact that it had me so freaked out that I didn’t even want to sit down at my computer for fear of it doing a back-flip onto my face IS RIDICULOUS. Because it’s a gecko. Not a gorilla.
Although, LOOK–he’s the same size as my sleeping Elliott!!! Gah!!
Let me tell you a little something about me that will help you understand the ridiculousness of this in its entirety.
“Gecko” was my first word. Seriously. Ask my mom. (Right, mom?) I was born in the Philippines where geckos abound like tacos are consumed in Mexico. And I loved them. I mean, seriously loved them. I was totally obsessed with them all through my early years of childhood and I would constantly chase them around our house in hopes of catching one to keep for a pet.
And one day, I did. I did it! I caught a gecko!! And do you know what happened the very next moment???
Well if you know anything about geckos, you do…ITS TAIL UP AND FELL RIGHT OFF!!!! Yes, you’re reading this correctly–ITS TAIL FELL OFF!! I was HORRIFIED! TRAUMATIZED! HEART-BROKEN!! I had somehow knocked this poor creature’s tail off in the midst of my selfish desire to call the beautiful reptile my own! WHAT HAD I DONE?!?
So I grabbed my brother and begged him to help me tape the tail back on. “Come on!!” I pleaded with him as he disgustingly refused to be of any assistance. I specifically remember when he declined to hold the tail so I could tape it on, I said sarcastically, “Oh, well would you rather hold thegecko then???” You know, in that mocking “I’m-the-little-sister-and-I-know-it-all” tone of voice…
Well my dad heard us arguing and put an end to the gecko fiasco. Someone must have explained to me that geckos’ tails instinctively fall off when they feel endangered so as to scare off their predator (Me?? A predator??) and so although I was quite sincere in my effort to “save him,” I let it go. Literally and emotionally. And I never saw that tail-less gecko again. Mom got home later that night and when Dad recounted the incident to her she decided to write a poem about it. And guess what–she submitted it to a contest and it won first place! Soon after our home was filled with every type of gecko you can imagine–big stuffed geckos, little stuffed geckos, gecko pins…gecko parafanalia lined the walls, shelves, and clothing in the Mauss family home.
Okay, so back to current events. I am sitting here staring at a gecko as I write.
Dun, dun, dun…
He hasn’t moved since I discovered him 45 minutes ago. Do you think he’s dead? Eesh…
But let’s get back to the laughing-at-myself. Do you see now why it is SO ridiculous that I couldn’t even bring myself to come within 10 feet of the thing? Because of some creepy-crawly fear that I’ve developed in the last 25 years since I was fondling that gecko like it was a baby kitten?? Where has my joyous, care-free youth gone??
This morning I felt prompted to read Hebrews 11…ahh, Hebrews 11, the blessed Hall of Faith. A passage I’ve read, probably literally, 100s of times and a passage that strikes me to the core every single time. Oh, for faith like these heroes of mine!! And God reminded me, again, that this whole journey we’re on is simply–utterly, profoundly, magnificently–simply about faith. All day I’ve been dwelling on that, eager for new revelation that I knew He was going to show me.
Why is it that the older I get, the more I “see,” the more I hear, the more I experience, the more I’ve been hurt…the less apt I am to depend upon God?? The less apt I am to trust Him? The more apt I am to say, “Yeah, you may be the God of the Universe, but I’ve got this one covered…thanks anyway, Almighty God!”
Because faith is about believing in the unseen–that’s the whole point of it. So why do I base my faith on things I’ve seen? And heard? And been disappointed in?
I’ve been afraid this week. Of things I can’t see, of things to come. Afraid of things that I never used to spend a moment fearing. Afraid of things that are so far out of my control that it’s ridiculous for me to even spend a minute trying to figure out how I can control them because I couldn’t even if I tried to. It’s like I grew up and the big bad geckos are suddenly out to get me, where they used to be my best friends. (Now, I feel like I have to put a disclaimer in here…that my fears have had nothing to do with the fact that we live in Mexico.)
A couple of weeks ago, I had fresh revelation about how we, as women, so quickly shut off, shut down, and put on scales that could repel the hardest bullet over our hearts because we’ve been hurt and so we are afraid of being hurt again. And I really, truly, utterly, overwhelmingly believe that God has created women to radiate His glory. Read all about it in Captivating. The essence of a woman is beautiful. Simply divine. Simply radiant. That is, a woman who is not guarded, not hard, not hidden, not ashamed, notafraid.
I long to be a woman who “can still and quiet her soul like a weaned child with her mother” (Psalm 131:2). And this can only, only, only come about through faith…faith like a child. Not faith like a woman who’s watched babies die. Not faith like a woman who’s seen too many children abandoned and abused by the ones they should be able to trust. Not faith like a woman who’s seen the poor suffer. But faith like a child. Faith like my child, who’s received milk or food every time he’s been hungry. Faith like my child, who’s never known to fear in his life because he can depend upon his parents. Faith like my child, who knows he is loved.
I didn’t have any fear turning 30 last month. I didn’t have the “O-M-G-I’M-TURNING-HOW-OLD??!!-NOOOOOOO!!!!” moment. 30. Despite the fact that my friend Kari told me our bodies start to decay at 30, I wasn’t afraid of getting older.
But tonight, I am. And I’m stubbornly and adamantly putting my foot down. I refuse to get older at heart. I refuse to let my faith become that of an “adult” when I am commanded to have faith like a child. I refuse to let geckos freak me out when they used to bring me laughter and delight. Oh, how I long to be the woman who can “laugh at the days to come” (Proverbs 31)!!! Oh, how I long to not be the skeptic, the cynic, the “well-let-me-just-warn-you” old cranky fart of a woman who is so worn and tattered by this world that she can’t even get her mail without thinking a bomb is going to go off in her mailbox. I don’t want to be that woman. I refuse to be that woman. I long to be soft before the Lord, soft in my Maker’s hands, soft in the will of my God. We are called to live in this world but not be of this world, and tonight I am pushing the “reset” button on my citizenship–for it is in Heaven, for it belongs to my Creator, for it is resting in hands with holes in them. And I trust Him.
Thank you, creepy sweet gecko, for renewing my faith tonight, and reminding me who I used to be. And who I am.
Amen.
*Gecko: apparently the rest of the world calls these things “lizards” but I, on the other hand, call everything that looks like THIS a “gecko.” Just for the record. 🙂
After a wonderful outreach in San Pedro, Dominican Republic, 3 months of having the privilege of hearing some amazing speakers from around the world during our lecture phase of DTS, all to be finished off with our graduation, we are O-F-F-I-C-I-A-L-L-Y YWAMERS!
Brian found out about 2 hours before graduation time that the other 3 guys had rented tuxes for the ceremony. I was still trying to convince Brian to wear khakis instead of jeans…but a tux?! Well, he was a good sport and pulled out the tux that he happens to have hanging in his closet from High School (we are certainly two peas in a pod, aren’t we?). Brian’s Aunt Bev and Uncle Roy had gotten Elliott this little suit months back, and although it was a 2T, we made it fit :). He only has one pair of shoes, so we also had to make-do with his little aqua shoes :/.
Seriously, how cute is he??
The graduation was held exactly over Elliott’s second nap, so he was a little…well, not in the mood to cooperate with photos :). But I was intent on capturing at least one with Elliott and his handsome daddy…here are a few candids that I think are cute :).
So handsome!!Like father, like sonSly guy…JOY (or utter exhaustion…one or the other!)RAYEL!! Rayel has become like family to us and is officially coming back in the Fall to do a bible school here! We are sooo thrilled!!!!Our DTS Classmates and Staff!Rayel, Me, Chrystal, Malene & Angela! LOVE these ladies!!! Chrystal is hoping to a bible school in Montana in the Fall (I'm going to miss her so much!!), and I won't lie…I'm VERY MUCH hoping that Malene and Angela end up back here like Rayel :).Nuestra Familia
Thanks to Alaska Airlines and some saved up miles, we were able to take a little trip to T-town in May to 1. sell some steel in order to get some how-do-you-call-it? Ahh, DINERO. 2. Celebrate Brian’s dad’s 65th birthday! 3. Celebrate my 30th birthday with dear friends and 4. Of course, see family! Here are some highlights from our trip:
PLAYING DRUMS!!
Grandpa, teaching Elliott how to drum like the best of 'em.
Elliott has L-O-V-E-D drums for months and months now, but “drumming” to him was always just using his hands on our little ottomans. Well, leave it to Grandma and Grandpa Moberg to not only have a drum at their house, but to have BRIAN’S ORIGINAL toy drum from when HE was a baby! As soon as Elliott saw it, it was truly love at first sight. Then one day, Grandpa took out a couple of “special” drums…some pots and pans!! And thus, Elliott’s drum SET was born. They had SO much fun playing drums together!
Do a little dance!
I know this picture is blurry, but I just LOVE it! Can’t you just see Elliott shaking his ‘thang? Something about the way he’s holding his shoulders reminds me of one of my classic “Susanne Dance Moves”…doesn’t it?! Elliott has also loved to dance for months and months. His first “dance moves” (starting when he was about 9 or 10 months old) were shaking his head back and forth. So it looks like he’s saying “no,” but really, he’s dancing. Any time we are in public and music comes on, he starts shaking his head back and forth. People always think he’s saying “No” to them, and we have to explain, “No, he’s not saying ‘no’…that’s just how he dances!” He sees an ipod and just starts shaking his head back and forth! Ha! Well, anyway, just within the last few weeks he’s started to get some shoulder and hip into his dance moves, and it’s awfully cute… I think we have a worshiper on our hands!!
KEN’S 65TH BIRTHDAY + ELLIOTT’S FIRST INTRODUCTION TO GRASS
I did a horrible job of capturing pictures from Ken’s birthday. As in, I didn’t take a single one :/. Honestly, I was so busy stuffing my face full of food, that I didn’t even know where my camera was until after the party was over! But it was great afternoon/evening of celebrating Ken with lots of friends and family.
Since it was GORGEOUS while we were in Tacoma (I left Mexico as white as ever and came back to Mexico with some touches of color, thanks to Tacoma!!) we were outside for much of the day. Which led to Elliott’s first introduction to grass!! Keep in mind that soon after he started crawling we left for the Dominican Republic, and I couldn’t put him in the grass there because of all the spiders + ants. And now, we live in Mexico, where the word “grass” isn’t even in their vocabulary. So we set him in the grass, with shoes on, for the first time and he just STOOD there. With his arms out. Staring down at this foreign substance like it was lava. And refused to move.
Eventually one of his cousins knocked him down and he instantly lifted his legs up so they weren’t touching the ground, and he just sat there with his arms and legs out in front of him in the air with an incredibly disgusted look on his face…the poor kid. We finally got a blanket out and now I know how to keep Elliott contained…just surround him with grass!! He refused to go past the blanket…
Blast! I can't go any further!!We put the volleyball a foot or two away to see if he would be distracted enough by his goal to walk on the grass…but nope!Soo frustrated that he couldn't reach the volleyball…
By the end of the evening he had made a TINY bit of progress in being a little more comfortable with grass, but it’s definitely not his favorite yet…
Micah has been THEE smiley-est baby I’ve EVER met in my life…in every picture he is smiling SO BIG while we try to get the other cousins to just sit still for two seconds and look at the camera! But he taught himself this “new look” just since we saw him two months ago. (Tabitha said she caught him practicing in the mirror once!) I think it’s so hilarious!!
"The Look"Brothers + their boys
SWING TIME!
Grandma and Grandpa have the BEST backyard…grass, a swing, and even a pool! Grandpa gave Elliott his first swing lessons, and, as you can see, Elliott had a BLAST.
Now THIS is fun!!Sheer joy!
PLAY DATES
One of my priorities for our time in Tacoma was to get as many play dates in as possible for Elliott. Besides his cousins, he got to play with Cody, Arielle, Henry, Katie, Jamison and baby Stella!! He, of course, LOVED playing with his friends and was simply enamored with baby Stella. He has been simply awe-struck every time we’ve been around baby girls lately…must be preparing to be a big brother!!
Elliott + Stella
MOTHER’S DAY!
I could write an entire post on what a joy it is to be a mother, and especially to be Elliott’s mom. But, let’s be real…that’s what most of my posts are about :). Our little family celebrated Mother’s Day by going back to our old stomping grounds, our old front yard…Ruston Way. It was a GORGEOUS day, and everyone and their mom (literally!! haha!) were there, too. It was so fun to walk along with Elliott, looking at the gorgeous mountain, listening to the waves crash against the shore and breathing in the potent smell of fish :). Later we went to an early dinner with Brian’s Mom, Dad, and sister and then headed to church.
Me, my baby boy + my baby girl! (20 weeks)Our Family, back in T-Town
Hasta luego, Tacoma. It was good to see you, and we’ll see you again soon!
Today I am friendsick. Longing to sit and be with my dearest friends…longing to hear their hearts and share mine…longing to hold the babies of some and longing to hold the hands of others as they wait on God for promises.
God has given me the most phenomenal friends on the planet…I will boldly proclaim it…I have the best friends in the world. I always have. I remember moving to Tacoma to go to college and being convinced I could never find friends like the ones I had in Colorado. I spent my entire first semester wishing I could go back…go back to Colorado, or bring my Colorado friends there…
But you know, God provided. He didn’t replace, but He provided. And within the matter of a few months I began to develop new friendships. New, deep, rich friendships. And suddenly, if “home is where your heart is,” I had two homes. My “Colorado Friends” and my “Tacoma Friends.”
For my 30th, I was extravagantly blessed. Extravagantly poured out upon. Not with physical gifts, but with the much-more-valuable gift of friendship. With both my “Colorado” and my “Tacoma” friends…I was extravagantly loved.
My 30th, Part I
My 30th birthday celebration started in October, when my “Colorado Friends” and I met up in San Diego for a birthday bash weekend. I mean, come on–we were all turning 30 (!!!) this school year!! So we took the opportunity to have a little reunion and celebrate. Seriously, now, how fun is that?! It was A BLAST!! I have known these girls since I was 8 years old!! We stayed in Keely’s gorgeous apartment and had a weekend to connect, be together, play on the beach, eat, and for Kari and I–pump! (Haha!!) And everyone’s still the same. We have all moved on to such different paths of life, but somehow we are all the same…
Friends for 22 years!!!
Jill is still the sensitive, creative, artistic one who finds laughter and joy every where she goes. Keely is still the one who can–and does–do anything…the paint-balling, modeling, yoga-ing, pilot-ing, parallel-parking beauty. Logan is still the one who will wake up at the crack of dawn (no matter WHAT time we went to bed or HOW MANY brownies we ate the night before) to go for a run. Emmy is still the selfless, giving, faithful friend who is always up for a new challenge or adventure no matter what else is going on in life. Kari is still the incredibly thoughtful one who can have us all rolling on the floor, gut-laughing with her stories, which are always about predicaments or situations she’s gotten herself into…things that would and could never happen to any other human being on the planet.
…and all still the same…
The thing that marks my “Colorado Friends” more than anything else is faithfulness. These are my faithful, FUN friends. Faithful for 22 years. And there is no doubt they will be faithful friends for 22 more. I am so grateful for these life-long friends!!
My 30th, Part II
Somehow Brian just knew that I needed to be in Tacoma for my birthday. There were several reasons to head back to Tacoma in May, and he insisted that we plan the trip over my birthday. And I had no idea how much my heart needed it.
I woke up that May 14th, and all I could think was, “I am not in want…I truly lack nothing.”Why? Because I am so loved. But as icing on the cake of life, I was lavishly celebrated by my friends. Amazing food, incredible cupcakes, rich fellowship, and life-breathing encouragement. Not to mention a photo booth!! 🙂 (P.S. All photos below are taken by the incredible Chrisy Dorsey!!)
Mmm…these touched the depth of this pregnant lady's heart!!
What is there to wish for when I lack nothing??
And each of these friends of mine came prepared with an exhortation for me. Powerful words of truth, of love, of memories…there were lots of tears and lots of laughs.
The dearest of friends…
I wish I had more adequate words to describe those few hours of fellowship with my “Tacoma Friends…” Rich, sweet, tender, joyous… But all I can say is, at the end of the night, my tank was full to overflowing. I left to head back to the mission field filled to overflowing with abundant love from my friends. I’m so, so grateful for every way these women have walked with me over the last 12 years, and have continued to walk with me in the last 7 months since I’ve been gone. I would not be who I am today were it not for each of these women in different ways. Texts, phone calls, and messages came in from my friends who were afar…even a DVD video from Danielle, who exhorted me through tears and even sang me happy birthday :).
EUREKA!! (You had to be there…)
So, so, so grateful for the gift of my friends…ALL of them, including the ones not pictured here…there are SO MANY MORE who are spread all over the U.S. and even one in England!! And now, my prayer is that God would not replace, but provide new friends as we are in a new chapter and season of life. A new home, a new job, a new country! And in the meantime, I celebrate and give thanks for all of my faithful, loving friends…spread out all over. I love you all so much!!!!!
SO grateful for my friends who "heart" me 🙂
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up.”
–Ecclesiastes 4:9-10a
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another —and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
It’s the little things about Elliott that take my breath away…it’s the little things that I love.
That’s such a cliche term, I almost hate to write it. But that’s all I could think about all day long…Those few words, running through my head all day. It’s the little things about Elliott that I simply adore.
I mean, it’s not like I thought that I wouldn’t be proud of my son until he graduates from high school or attends Oxford or holds a doctorate or…I’ve never consciously had the thought, “I’ll be proud of him when…” But today I am just struck anew at how proud I am of my son, every moment of the day. I find myself saying that to him over and over and over again: “I am so proud of you, my son!!”
Elliott has been kind of obsessed with diapers for a little while now. And, I’m pretty sure the fetish is my fault. You see, it all started because Brian and I could never decide whether or not we should get a diaper genie when Elliott was born, and so now instead of throwing away his diapers in his room, we just throw them away in the downstairs garbage which keeps the smell in just fine until we change it, which is somewhat frequently. Anyway, so because there’s no trash can next to his changing table, I throw the diaper out the door and usually kick it downstairs with my foot. Ridiculous, I know. But when you’re pregnant and carrying a toddler, you’ll do anything to minimize the amount of times you bend over in a day :). But all that to say, Elliott loved watching me kick it downstairs, and soon became obsessed with diapers. (Hmm, now that I think of that, maybe that’s why he’s so in to kicking soccer balls!)
Anyway, the revelation finally hit me last week with a solution that would give Elliott the joy of fondling his dirty diapers and me the luxury of not bending over again: I can teach him to throw his own diapers away!! So the training began and within two diaper changes I had my man :). He happily picks up his diaper, toddles over to the trash can, and on the count of three, he throws it in. And of course, praise and applauds in copious amounts always follow. Because I am so proud of my son.
He was so overcome with the concept of throwing his diaper away the other day that he, in all of his excitement, threw away one of his toys shortly after tossing his diaper. So I quickly pulled it out of the trash and explained to him that we were done throwing things away; that there are some things that are trash that we throw away, and other things that are not trash that don’t go in the trash can. You literally could see the light bulb go on above his head: he quickly looked to the left, then to the right, saw a piece of leftover food on the ground, ran over and picked it up, headed back over to the trash can, and threw it away.
And my heart simply rejoiced over him, overflowing in abundance and pride. I am so proud of my son.
Today I needed to change Elliott’s diaper. I was sitting in the play room on the floor with him and I said, “Come here please, Elliott. I need to change your diaper.” He walked away from me at first, but only to grab a toy and come right back to me. And then he laid down in front of me all on his own. I was so overwhelmed at his simple, yet profound, act of obedience that I almost picked him back up, smothered him with kisses and told him to go play because I was so proud of him. But instead, I exhorted and praised him as I wiped the fresh poop off his bottom, more charmed with him than ever before. (And then, of course, he threw away his diaper…) I am so proud of my son.
This afternoon we went for a walk outside and Elliott was thrilled to have a few close encounters with his favorite animal: the “BBBUUUURRRR!!!!” (Bird) When I asked him if he wanted to talk to the birds, he quickly responded with, “teet, teet, teet!” I am so proud of my son.
Every day when I think Elliott is ready for a nap, I ask him, “Elliott, are you ready for a rest?” And every day, no matter what he’s doing, he drops everything and walks toward the stairs. He crawls up the stairs, heads to his room, patiently sucks his thumb while I change his diaper, lays his head down on my shoulder for a (very quick) snuggle, and then dives for his crib. Every day. I am so proud of my son.
But you know the underlying reason why I’m so proud of my son? Because he was created to be a learner, and he is taking joy in learning every day. And that’s why I’m proud. Not because of what he does, but because of who he is. Because he’s walking in the fullness right now. And that’s my goal as a mom: to always create an environment where my son–my children!–can become the fullness of who God created them to be. And right now, God is showing me how much Elliott LOVES to LEARN. So I am focused on creating a home where he can.
And in the meantime, he takes my breath away. With these “little things.” Every little word he so passionately speaks. Every little step he so awkwardly toddles. Every little kiss he plants on my lips, open-mouthed. Every little laugh that bubbles out so hard it takes over his whole body. Every little thing.
Happy 14 month birthday (yesterday), my little learner!!
My sweet baby boy turned one (yes, 6 weeks ago, but that’s beside the point), and we were so excited to celebrate him!! Although this post is quite late, I wanted to get it up anyway :).
Due to the fact that the majority of our resources–time, energy, and money–for Elliott’s birthday were dedicated to his House Build, I committed to keeping the party itself SIMPLE. But that didn’t mean we couldn’t have some fun :).
We had Elliott’s Birthday Banner up the whole week preceding his birthday. Melisa and I designed and made this banner several months ago for Elliott out of the same material that my friend Amy made his quilt and wall hangings out of. We’ll add a new photo each year!
The Birthday Banner!
Let’s get this party started!
We went with a construction theme (of course). And with a few sheets of yellow cardstock, a Sharpie, our printer, some balloons, and some Spanish “Caution” tape, we had our decor.
THE DECOR
Construction signs everywhere!Some of our guests relaxing before lunch (American tacos, of course) is served.The party game…putting Elliott's photos in order from 1-11 months old!Brian designed the cupcake construction signs himself!Cupcakes galore
THE FIRST BITE OF BIRTHDAY CUPCAKE!
Lighting Elliott's cupcake…me and the baby bump 🙂Everyone's singing "Happy Birthday," and Elliott is LOVING it!!Trying to explain that he has to blow out the candle…"Mom, that's the silliest thing I've EVER heard!!""Seriously, Mom? No way! I'm feeling a bit candle shy today…""Helping him" blow it out before he grabs onto the flame…"Now what do I do? ""Oooh…I've never felt anything like THIS before…""Ehh…let me touch it with my right hand, too."When, after a few minutes of poking and prodding this strange sugar phenomenon, it was clear that Elliott had deemed this object inedible, Brian helped him out."Whoa. Now that was different.""Let me try that again. Is everyone still watching? Good.""Wow. That is REALLY something.""I'd better try one more bite."
Now, when Elliott really likes something that we’ve given him to eat, he either does one of two things: he smiles so big and waves at us, or, he wants to kiss us over and over again. As you may or may not know, Elliott’s kisses are VERY open-mouthed. So after about three bites, apparently he decided he liked it, and leaned in to give me kiss…
*Melt my heart*We BOTH had a chocolate mustache after that smooch!!
He kissed me two or three times in a row, and every time he did, all of the party guests (of course) went, “Awww….” I think he really liked that, so after every kiss, he broke out into joyous applause for himself. It was awesome.
So pleased with himself for kissing Mommy. 🙂My goodness, I love him!!!
Brian and I tried to take advantage of his smoozing with the camera to sneak in a family pic. Little did we know that Elliott had very much moved on already.
"Alright, alright…enough kissing and clapping. Lemme have another bite of that awesome goodness!"Finally got a family birthday picture in there :)."Mmmm. Now THAT was good. Talk about about satisfaction!"
THE GUESTS!
FamilyMost of our DTS familyMark, Korrin, and two of their boys–Noah (who apparently is camera shy) and Declan. Elliott looks up to these boys so much! We are grateful for these new friends who are on staff here for the next 2 years!Louie, Taylor, Micah, Declan, Hailey, Elliott, Noah (Hunter had already gone home to take a nap)Grandma & Grandpa Moberg with all the grandkids
You know, it wasn’t easy thinking about the fact that Elliott’s first birthday would be far, far away from the people whom we love most dearly and from the people who love our sweet baby boy so much. But I am so grateful for how the Lord came through and made Elliott’s birthday lacking nothing. Don’t get me wrong–I missed my family tremendously and all of my dear friends spread across the globe. But Elliott’s birthday was rich. Rich with friendship, with love, with giving to a family in need. We are so grateful that Brian’s family could come down for the weekend, and that our DTS class adores Elliott and were all so excited to celebrate him. We are so grateful that Elliott has new friends here–Noah, Declan, Louie, Hunter and Parker–and most of them could make it to his party! We are grateful.
Happy 1st Birthday, Elliott Brian!!! What a joy it is to celebrate your life!!!
Elliott is COMPLETELY obsessed with balls, and so we were so excited to bring him to his very first Easter egg hunt that they held at the base. Eggs are just like balls, right? Only squished in the middle? Like a ball with a belt on…that’s what I told Elliott.
They let the “little” kids get a head start so the big kids wouldn’t run them over. Great idea, except that the head start was about 30 seconds, which is clearly problematic when toddlers “toddle” and big kids, well, SPRINT. So we found an open, low-traffic area with just one or two Easter eggs, figuring the big kids would go elsewhere. We found an easily-spottable Easter egg beneath a table and figured that would be a perfect way for Elliott to start.
We pointed out the magenta “ball with a belt” to Elliott as I explained to him that he could go get it and put it in his little easter basket! He walked over with me, smiling at the kids who were zipping by him as they hunted for Easter eggs themselves. We had almost reached the funny-shaped magenta “ball” when suddenly, out of nowhere, this little girl wiggled in around me and snatched the Easter egg Elliott was going for! I was SHOCKED. And APPALLED. How could she do that?! Doesn’t she know that this is Elliott’s very first Easter egg hunt, and that was the very first egg he’s ever hunted? And she stole it from him? Doesn’t she know that he’s barely 1 and he can’t understand why someone just swiped his treasure right out from under his nose?? Doesn’t she know that he’s going to be scarred for life because of this?!?!!!
No, she doesn’t, because she’s 6. And that’s not what 6 year olds think about.
And no, he’s not going to be scarred for the rest of his life. Because he didn’t even know that egg was “his.”
So, I quickly grabbed another egg, purple this time, and moved it right close to Elliott and blocked the path so no one could grab it from him. And he got it! Hunt successful!! Phew!
I grabbed another egg that had been hidden and placed it under the little table. Now Elliott had the hang of it, and he immediately started to go for the orange belted-ball in his sight. He quickly moved over to it, reached out to grab it, and–a little boy ran over to grab it before Elliott!! But this time, my mom-like reflexes were in super-heightened mode, so with a quick “hiya!” I knocked that other kid out of the race!
No, I didn’t. Because he’s 4. And that that would be horrible of me. Like, really horrible. I can see the headlines now: “Missionary mom sends 4 year old boy to the moon just to let her son play with a 5 cent Easter egg.” Yeah, that would be bad.
But I did very kindly and urgently tell him that that egg was not for him, it was for Elliott. So back off, kid!!
No, I didn’t say that last part. But I wanted to.
This is by far the hardest part about being a mom so far. I have never had the urge (okay, maybe once when I was in high school) to punch someone in the face. But there is something about hurting my little boy’s feelings or doing something that I deem potentially harmful to him, that completely takes away all of my ability to reason and think clearly. All I can see is my fist flying, and everything getting better after that.
Collecting his eggsLearning how to put the eggs in his basket…Loving these new "balls with belts"
But do you know what happened a few minutes later? Elliott’s friend Parker came over and shared all his eggs with Elliott. And my heart just melted at Parker’s kindness. Then, Hunter came along and do you know what Hunter did? Share all his eggs with Elliott. And again, my heart melted.
Parker (in the sweater vest) and Hunter (in the yellow shirt) sharing their eggs with Elliott, while he's cuddled on Jamie's lap.
Seconds later, the sweetest little girl came over and guess what she did? Share her eggs with Elliott. Elliott was suddenly surrounded by children, all sharing their eggs with him.
So in awe of these sweet children's kindness…
I let out a big sigh as I could just see God’s face looking down on me, with that knowing yet gentle smile, and saying: “Susanne, did you really think you could take care of Elliott better than I could?”
Elliott, sharing back. Look what they just taught him to do!!!
So that brings us to the other night, when we were hanging around the base after to dinner. Elliott had spotted a gold mine–not one, but two, soccer balls. He was having a blast playing with one of them…throwing it to me, kicking it, carrying it around…all the ways he “plays” soccer. When all of a sudden, two bigger boys came up and wanted to play “with” him. Unfortunately, it’s pretty difficult for a 4-year-old and a 2-year-old to know how to play well with a 1 year old. Now don’t get me wrong, these two boys are so incredibly sweet…it’s just that they’re 4 and 2, and a soccer ball is involved.
And Elliott’s world of “playing soccer” suddenly completely changed. It went from a friendly fun game that he plays with his mom and dad while laughing and squealing with delight, to an ultra-intense, fierce, competitive sport with these two older boys who had absolutely no mercy on him. No handicap advantages here! It took everything in me to not scoop up Elliott, grab the other soccer ball, and take him into a room where we could be all by ourselves and he could play fun-, squealing-, laughing-soccer to his heart’s content.
But instead, I let go. And just watched.
Watched like a hawk, mind you. Don’t get me wrong, I protected my little buddy when absolutely necessary (like when the zealous 4-year-old wound up to kick the soccer ball as hard as he could while it happened to be inches from Elliott’s face). But mostly, I let go. Cringing on the inside the entire time, I let go. And I just let Elliott be. I watched him get bumped and knocked over. And then I watched him get back up again, even more determined. And you know what–I learned so much about my son that day. He never once cried, whined, or complained when the bigger boys snatched the ball from him and ran. When they stepped on him in their eagerness, when they jostled him so hard that he fell over. No, Elliott chased after them. With all of his might. I’ve never seen him so sweaty, so determined, so covered in red marks on his face and arms from being pushed around. I have never seen him run like that. He would literally run after the ball and then throw himself down on top of it, stand up, and run away with it again. He was determined to play hard with the big boys.
There was one time that the 4-year-old was waiting for the ball to be passed to him and he was blocking Elliott from getting to it. His arms were out and his feet were spread as he was guarded the territory. Elliott came from behind and I could see his brain ticking. He crawled over, started to go to the left of him, then to the right of him, and then he quickly darted between his legs!! Ha!! We all cheered and hoorayed at Elliott’s cleverness and determination…and you know what? He got the ball.
We got in the car to go home and I couldn’t hold my tears back one more second…they started to pour out of my eyes in rivers (darn hormones!). It was so hard to just stand there and watch him grow up. To watch him learn what it’s like to play with boys. To watch him get knocked down. But mostly, I cried because I was so proud of my son. I loved learning more about his character in those moments. I loved watching him rise to the challenge, and not shrink back. Because that’s who our Elliott Brian is: Brave, strong, and true…
I think the absolute, most difficult part of being a parent is letting go. If I had it my way, I would have Elliott in a helmet, knee pads, elbow pads, a butt pad…I would pad all of our walls and sharp corners and heck, even our marble floors! I would create a land of perfectness, where he could never be harmed, where no one could steal his Easter Eggs. He would grow up in a bubble and never be exposed to germs and never have one mean thing said to him and…
And he would never come close to being the boy, the man, that God has designed him to be. In trying to save him from injustice, I would be creating the greatest injustice of all–not letting him learn, discover, fall… (yes, I’m crying after typing the word “fall”…darn hormones!)
Elliott becomes more “boy” and less “baby” every day…and I know he’s only going to keep growing. Ahhh, and with each new passage into boyhood, it’s like a new layer of my fear is ripped off like a huge band-aid trying to protect my heart. I know I’m one of those sappy, sensitive moms. Let’s be real, I’m one of those sappy, sensitive people, no matter what the context. 🙂 But sometimes my heart aches watching him learn, when it’s one of those things that hurts a bit to learn.
But I will–Iresolve–to allow my son to grow and flourish as God has created him to run. I do not want to protect and hide him when there’s an opportunity for him to soar. The greatest truth I have ever learned about motherhood came from Mama Melisa, almost a year ago. She has one sentence that strikes me to the heart each time she has said it to me, and most recently it rocked me as she spoke about her sweet baby Stella, who had to stay for a little while in the hospital before she could come home. And she said to me, “But Sus, I just have to remember…she’s not mine. She’s the Lord’s. She always has been. And He’s got her.”
That statement profoundly impacts the way I mother every day. And there are new layers to that revelation and that conviction every day. I’m pretty sure it’s only going to get harder to “let go,” but it’s a lot easier than the alternative…
So soar, my sweet baby Elliott…soar. Allow the Lord to set wind to your sails with the passions that He births within you. Allow Him to develop you. Allow Him to shape you. And know that I won’t be far… I’ll be right here to rejoice over every victory with you, or to let you cry on my shoulder if you fall…but always, always–I’ll always be right here…
