Brian has been working in L.A. today (what does “L.A.” stand for, you ask? …a Long way Away!!!!) so he won’t be back till late tonight. After putting Elliott down, I decided to take advantage of every minute I had to be ultra productive–so I showered, got the kitchen all cleaned up and the dishes done, started a couple loads of laundry, made my second dinner (don’t judge) and sat down for a nice quiet evening with one goal in mind: get our update letter written.
Well, as I waddled on over to sit down at my computer with my second dinner, something–HUGE–caught my eye and I stopped dead in my tracks. And then I laughed. And laughed again. You know–that nervous, giggle-laughter where you’re caught somewhere between shocked and freaked out even though you know what’s happening is really quite funny but your body is somehow frozen and the only part of you that works is your giggle button…yeah, that kind of laugh.
Can you see it there? Just “hanging out” right behind my computer?
Meet our new pet:
Why, hello there.
When my limbs started working again I instinctively went to grab Elliott so I could share the creature with him–just like I did earlier when the two bunnies were frolicking outside in the street or every time a new type of bug worms its way into our house or when a flock of birds is soaring through the sky. But, he was asleep. So I went to get Brian–but quickly remembered he wasn’t home! So I grabbed my third best buddy–my camera–and we shared in this ridiculous moment together.
But I just couldn’t stop laughing…at myself! And honestly, do you know why? Because it is a gecko*, and it had me so startled I couldn’t move. A gecko. Come on, folks. There are MUCH worse things to find crawling in your house. But the fact that it had me so freaked out that I didn’t even want to sit down at my computer for fear of it doing a back-flip onto my face IS RIDICULOUS. Because it’s a gecko. Not a gorilla.
Although, LOOK–he’s the same size as my sleeping Elliott!!! Gah!!
Let me tell you a little something about me that will help you understand the ridiculousness of this in its entirety.
“Gecko” was my first word. Seriously. Ask my mom. (Right, mom?) I was born in the Philippines where geckos abound like tacos are consumed in Mexico. And I loved them. I mean, seriously loved them. I was totally obsessed with them all through my early years of childhood and I would constantly chase them around our house in hopes of catching one to keep for a pet.
And one day, I did. I did it! I caught a gecko!! And do you know what happened the very next moment???
Well if you know anything about geckos, you do…ITS TAIL UP AND FELL RIGHT OFF!!!! Yes, you’re reading this correctly–ITS TAIL FELL OFF!! I was HORRIFIED! TRAUMATIZED! HEART-BROKEN!! I had somehow knocked this poor creature’s tail off in the midst of my selfish desire to call the beautiful reptile my own! WHAT HAD I DONE?!?
So I grabbed my brother and begged him to help me tape the tail back on. “Come on!!” I pleaded with him as he disgustingly refused to be of any assistance. I specifically remember when he declined to hold the tail so I could tape it on, I said sarcastically, “Oh, well would you rather hold thegecko then???” You know, in that mocking “I’m-the-little-sister-and-I-know-it-all” tone of voice…
Well my dad heard us arguing and put an end to the gecko fiasco. Someone must have explained to me that geckos’ tails instinctively fall off when they feel endangered so as to scare off their predator (Me?? A predator??) and so although I was quite sincere in my effort to “save him,” I let it go. Literally and emotionally. And I never saw that tail-less gecko again. Mom got home later that night and when Dad recounted the incident to her she decided to write a poem about it. And guess what–she submitted it to a contest and it won first place! Soon after our home was filled with every type of gecko you can imagine–big stuffed geckos, little stuffed geckos, gecko pins…gecko parafanalia lined the walls, shelves, and clothing in the Mauss family home.
Okay, so back to current events. I am sitting here staring at a gecko as I write.
Dun, dun, dun…
He hasn’t moved since I discovered him 45 minutes ago. Do you think he’s dead? Eesh…
But let’s get back to the laughing-at-myself. Do you see now why it is SO ridiculous that I couldn’t even bring myself to come within 10 feet of the thing? Because of some creepy-crawly fear that I’ve developed in the last 25 years since I was fondling that gecko like it was a baby kitten?? Where has my joyous, care-free youth gone??
This morning I felt prompted to read Hebrews 11…ahh, Hebrews 11, the blessed Hall of Faith. A passage I’ve read, probably literally, 100s of times and a passage that strikes me to the core every single time. Oh, for faith like these heroes of mine!! And God reminded me, again, that this whole journey we’re on is simply–utterly, profoundly, magnificently–simply about faith. All day I’ve been dwelling on that, eager for new revelation that I knew He was going to show me.
Why is it that the older I get, the more I “see,” the more I hear, the more I experience, the more I’ve been hurt…the less apt I am to depend upon God?? The less apt I am to trust Him? The more apt I am to say, “Yeah, you may be the God of the Universe, but I’ve got this one covered…thanks anyway, Almighty God!”
Because faith is about believing in the unseen–that’s the whole point of it. So why do I base my faith on things I’ve seen? And heard? And been disappointed in?
I’ve been afraid this week. Of things I can’t see, of things to come. Afraid of things that I never used to spend a moment fearing. Afraid of things that are so far out of my control that it’s ridiculous for me to even spend a minute trying to figure out how I can control them because I couldn’t even if I tried to. It’s like I grew up and the big bad geckos are suddenly out to get me, where they used to be my best friends. (Now, I feel like I have to put a disclaimer in here…that my fears have had nothing to do with the fact that we live in Mexico.)
A couple of weeks ago, I had fresh revelation about how we, as women, so quickly shut off, shut down, and put on scales that could repel the hardest bullet over our hearts because we’ve been hurt and so we are afraid of being hurt again. And I really, truly, utterly, overwhelmingly believe that God has created women to radiate His glory. Read all about it in Captivating. The essence of a woman is beautiful. Simply divine. Simply radiant. That is, a woman who is not guarded, not hard, not hidden, not ashamed, notafraid.
I long to be a woman who “can still and quiet her soul like a weaned child with her mother” (Psalm 131:2). And this can only, only, only come about through faith…faith like a child. Not faith like a woman who’s watched babies die. Not faith like a woman who’s seen too many children abandoned and abused by the ones they should be able to trust. Not faith like a woman who’s seen the poor suffer. But faith like a child. Faith like my child, who’s received milk or food every time he’s been hungry. Faith like my child, who’s never known to fear in his life because he can depend upon his parents. Faith like my child, who knows he is loved.
I didn’t have any fear turning 30 last month. I didn’t have the “O-M-G-I’M-TURNING-HOW-OLD??!!-NOOOOOOO!!!!” moment. 30. Despite the fact that my friend Kari told me our bodies start to decay at 30, I wasn’t afraid of getting older.
But tonight, I am. And I’m stubbornly and adamantly putting my foot down. I refuse to get older at heart. I refuse to let my faith become that of an “adult” when I am commanded to have faith like a child. I refuse to let geckos freak me out when they used to bring me laughter and delight. Oh, how I long to be the woman who can “laugh at the days to come” (Proverbs 31)!!! Oh, how I long to not be the skeptic, the cynic, the “well-let-me-just-warn-you” old cranky fart of a woman who is so worn and tattered by this world that she can’t even get her mail without thinking a bomb is going to go off in her mailbox. I don’t want to be that woman. I refuse to be that woman. I long to be soft before the Lord, soft in my Maker’s hands, soft in the will of my God. We are called to live in this world but not be of this world, and tonight I am pushing the “reset” button on my citizenship–for it is in Heaven, for it belongs to my Creator, for it is resting in hands with holes in them. And I trust Him.
Thank you, creepy sweet gecko, for renewing my faith tonight, and reminding me who I used to be. And who I am.
Amen.
*Gecko: apparently the rest of the world calls these things “lizards” but I, on the other hand, call everything that looks like THIS a “gecko.” Just for the record. 🙂
After a wonderful outreach in San Pedro, Dominican Republic, 3 months of having the privilege of hearing some amazing speakers from around the world during our lecture phase of DTS, all to be finished off with our graduation, we are O-F-F-I-C-I-A-L-L-Y YWAMERS!
Brian found out about 2 hours before graduation time that the other 3 guys had rented tuxes for the ceremony. I was still trying to convince Brian to wear khakis instead of jeans…but a tux?! Well, he was a good sport and pulled out the tux that he happens to have hanging in his closet from High School (we are certainly two peas in a pod, aren’t we?). Brian’s Aunt Bev and Uncle Roy had gotten Elliott this little suit months back, and although it was a 2T, we made it fit :). He only has one pair of shoes, so we also had to make-do with his little aqua shoes :/.
Seriously, how cute is he??
The graduation was held exactly over Elliott’s second nap, so he was a little…well, not in the mood to cooperate with photos :). But I was intent on capturing at least one with Elliott and his handsome daddy…here are a few candids that I think are cute :).
So handsome!!Like father, like sonSly guy…JOY (or utter exhaustion…one or the other!)RAYEL!! Rayel has become like family to us and is officially coming back in the Fall to do a bible school here! We are sooo thrilled!!!!Our DTS Classmates and Staff!Rayel, Me, Chrystal, Malene & Angela! LOVE these ladies!!! Chrystal is hoping to a bible school in Montana in the Fall (I'm going to miss her so much!!), and I won't lie…I'm VERY MUCH hoping that Malene and Angela end up back here like Rayel :).Nuestra Familia
Thanks to Alaska Airlines and some saved up miles, we were able to take a little trip to T-town in May to 1. sell some steel in order to get some how-do-you-call-it? Ahh, DINERO. 2. Celebrate Brian’s dad’s 65th birthday! 3. Celebrate my 30th birthday with dear friends and 4. Of course, see family! Here are some highlights from our trip:
PLAYING DRUMS!!
Grandpa, teaching Elliott how to drum like the best of 'em.
Elliott has L-O-V-E-D drums for months and months now, but “drumming” to him was always just using his hands on our little ottomans. Well, leave it to Grandma and Grandpa Moberg to not only have a drum at their house, but to have BRIAN’S ORIGINAL toy drum from when HE was a baby! As soon as Elliott saw it, it was truly love at first sight. Then one day, Grandpa took out a couple of “special” drums…some pots and pans!! And thus, Elliott’s drum SET was born. They had SO much fun playing drums together!
Do a little dance!
I know this picture is blurry, but I just LOVE it! Can’t you just see Elliott shaking his ‘thang? Something about the way he’s holding his shoulders reminds me of one of my classic “Susanne Dance Moves”…doesn’t it?! Elliott has also loved to dance for months and months. His first “dance moves” (starting when he was about 9 or 10 months old) were shaking his head back and forth. So it looks like he’s saying “no,” but really, he’s dancing. Any time we are in public and music comes on, he starts shaking his head back and forth. People always think he’s saying “No” to them, and we have to explain, “No, he’s not saying ‘no’…that’s just how he dances!” He sees an ipod and just starts shaking his head back and forth! Ha! Well, anyway, just within the last few weeks he’s started to get some shoulder and hip into his dance moves, and it’s awfully cute… I think we have a worshiper on our hands!!
KEN’S 65TH BIRTHDAY + ELLIOTT’S FIRST INTRODUCTION TO GRASS
I did a horrible job of capturing pictures from Ken’s birthday. As in, I didn’t take a single one :/. Honestly, I was so busy stuffing my face full of food, that I didn’t even know where my camera was until after the party was over! But it was great afternoon/evening of celebrating Ken with lots of friends and family.
Since it was GORGEOUS while we were in Tacoma (I left Mexico as white as ever and came back to Mexico with some touches of color, thanks to Tacoma!!) we were outside for much of the day. Which led to Elliott’s first introduction to grass!! Keep in mind that soon after he started crawling we left for the Dominican Republic, and I couldn’t put him in the grass there because of all the spiders + ants. And now, we live in Mexico, where the word “grass” isn’t even in their vocabulary. So we set him in the grass, with shoes on, for the first time and he just STOOD there. With his arms out. Staring down at this foreign substance like it was lava. And refused to move.
Eventually one of his cousins knocked him down and he instantly lifted his legs up so they weren’t touching the ground, and he just sat there with his arms and legs out in front of him in the air with an incredibly disgusted look on his face…the poor kid. We finally got a blanket out and now I know how to keep Elliott contained…just surround him with grass!! He refused to go past the blanket…
Blast! I can't go any further!!We put the volleyball a foot or two away to see if he would be distracted enough by his goal to walk on the grass…but nope!Soo frustrated that he couldn't reach the volleyball…
By the end of the evening he had made a TINY bit of progress in being a little more comfortable with grass, but it’s definitely not his favorite yet…
Micah has been THEE smiley-est baby I’ve EVER met in my life…in every picture he is smiling SO BIG while we try to get the other cousins to just sit still for two seconds and look at the camera! But he taught himself this “new look” just since we saw him two months ago. (Tabitha said she caught him practicing in the mirror once!) I think it’s so hilarious!!
"The Look"Brothers + their boys
SWING TIME!
Grandma and Grandpa have the BEST backyard…grass, a swing, and even a pool! Grandpa gave Elliott his first swing lessons, and, as you can see, Elliott had a BLAST.
Now THIS is fun!!Sheer joy!
PLAY DATES
One of my priorities for our time in Tacoma was to get as many play dates in as possible for Elliott. Besides his cousins, he got to play with Cody, Arielle, Henry, Katie, Jamison and baby Stella!! He, of course, LOVED playing with his friends and was simply enamored with baby Stella. He has been simply awe-struck every time we’ve been around baby girls lately…must be preparing to be a big brother!!
Elliott + Stella
MOTHER’S DAY!
I could write an entire post on what a joy it is to be a mother, and especially to be Elliott’s mom. But, let’s be real…that’s what most of my posts are about :). Our little family celebrated Mother’s Day by going back to our old stomping grounds, our old front yard…Ruston Way. It was a GORGEOUS day, and everyone and their mom (literally!! haha!) were there, too. It was so fun to walk along with Elliott, looking at the gorgeous mountain, listening to the waves crash against the shore and breathing in the potent smell of fish :). Later we went to an early dinner with Brian’s Mom, Dad, and sister and then headed to church.
Me, my baby boy + my baby girl! (20 weeks)Our Family, back in T-Town
Hasta luego, Tacoma. It was good to see you, and we’ll see you again soon!
Today I am friendsick. Longing to sit and be with my dearest friends…longing to hear their hearts and share mine…longing to hold the babies of some and longing to hold the hands of others as they wait on God for promises.
God has given me the most phenomenal friends on the planet…I will boldly proclaim it…I have the best friends in the world. I always have. I remember moving to Tacoma to go to college and being convinced I could never find friends like the ones I had in Colorado. I spent my entire first semester wishing I could go back…go back to Colorado, or bring my Colorado friends there…
But you know, God provided. He didn’t replace, but He provided. And within the matter of a few months I began to develop new friendships. New, deep, rich friendships. And suddenly, if “home is where your heart is,” I had two homes. My “Colorado Friends” and my “Tacoma Friends.”
For my 30th, I was extravagantly blessed. Extravagantly poured out upon. Not with physical gifts, but with the much-more-valuable gift of friendship. With both my “Colorado” and my “Tacoma” friends…I was extravagantly loved.
My 30th, Part I
My 30th birthday celebration started in October, when my “Colorado Friends” and I met up in San Diego for a birthday bash weekend. I mean, come on–we were all turning 30 (!!!) this school year!! So we took the opportunity to have a little reunion and celebrate. Seriously, now, how fun is that?! It was A BLAST!! I have known these girls since I was 8 years old!! We stayed in Keely’s gorgeous apartment and had a weekend to connect, be together, play on the beach, eat, and for Kari and I–pump! (Haha!!) And everyone’s still the same. We have all moved on to such different paths of life, but somehow we are all the same…
Friends for 22 years!!!
Jill is still the sensitive, creative, artistic one who finds laughter and joy every where she goes. Keely is still the one who can–and does–do anything…the paint-balling, modeling, yoga-ing, pilot-ing, parallel-parking beauty. Logan is still the one who will wake up at the crack of dawn (no matter WHAT time we went to bed or HOW MANY brownies we ate the night before) to go for a run. Emmy is still the selfless, giving, faithful friend who is always up for a new challenge or adventure no matter what else is going on in life. Kari is still the incredibly thoughtful one who can have us all rolling on the floor, gut-laughing with her stories, which are always about predicaments or situations she’s gotten herself into…things that would and could never happen to any other human being on the planet.
…and all still the same…
The thing that marks my “Colorado Friends” more than anything else is faithfulness. These are my faithful, FUN friends. Faithful for 22 years. And there is no doubt they will be faithful friends for 22 more. I am so grateful for these life-long friends!!
My 30th, Part II
Somehow Brian just knew that I needed to be in Tacoma for my birthday. There were several reasons to head back to Tacoma in May, and he insisted that we plan the trip over my birthday. And I had no idea how much my heart needed it.
I woke up that May 14th, and all I could think was, “I am not in want…I truly lack nothing.”Why? Because I am so loved. But as icing on the cake of life, I was lavishly celebrated by my friends. Amazing food, incredible cupcakes, rich fellowship, and life-breathing encouragement. Not to mention a photo booth!! 🙂 (P.S. All photos below are taken by the incredible Chrisy Dorsey!!)
Mmm…these touched the depth of this pregnant lady's heart!!
What is there to wish for when I lack nothing??
And each of these friends of mine came prepared with an exhortation for me. Powerful words of truth, of love, of memories…there were lots of tears and lots of laughs.
The dearest of friends…
I wish I had more adequate words to describe those few hours of fellowship with my “Tacoma Friends…” Rich, sweet, tender, joyous… But all I can say is, at the end of the night, my tank was full to overflowing. I left to head back to the mission field filled to overflowing with abundant love from my friends. I’m so, so grateful for every way these women have walked with me over the last 12 years, and have continued to walk with me in the last 7 months since I’ve been gone. I would not be who I am today were it not for each of these women in different ways. Texts, phone calls, and messages came in from my friends who were afar…even a DVD video from Danielle, who exhorted me through tears and even sang me happy birthday :).
EUREKA!! (You had to be there…)
So, so, so grateful for the gift of my friends…ALL of them, including the ones not pictured here…there are SO MANY MORE who are spread all over the U.S. and even one in England!! And now, my prayer is that God would not replace, but provide new friends as we are in a new chapter and season of life. A new home, a new job, a new country! And in the meantime, I celebrate and give thanks for all of my faithful, loving friends…spread out all over. I love you all so much!!!!!
SO grateful for my friends who "heart" me 🙂
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up.”
–Ecclesiastes 4:9-10a
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another —and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
