Month: September 2010

  • If I could make a livin’ out of lovin’ you…

    If I could make a livin’ out of lovin’ you…

    …I’d be a millionaire in a week or two!

    I cannot tell you how many times daily this song runs through my head. Clay Walker knew what he was talking about when he wrote this little ditty.

    I love my husband so incredibly much…and he loves me so well. I wake up each morning and think, If only it could be as simple as loving each other, and getting paid to do so… We’d be doin’ what we love and lovin’ what we do…

    We have barely broached the subject of “What’s next?” because there have been so many current life/job details to tie up. Yet, we remain full of peace and excitement for what’s ahead.

    The morning that I woke up in the hospital, I heard this Scripture ringing through my head: “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness!!” (Lamentations 3:23)

    I couldn’t get it out of my system…I was overflowing with gratitude for His new mercies every single day… This is a promise to His children! His love is steadfast and it never ceases…the power in these words is extraordinary, and I heard it with new ears that morning.

    That afternoon, when we received the call about KLM, I knew it was no accident that that was the Scripture the Lord put on my heart that morning. He set me up for a total win in my spirit that day: I knew instantly that the news was not “bad,” it was His mercy. And when you have that perspective, it’s really difficult to not be at peace. When you know it’s His mercy that the company collapsed, then you don’t wish it were still intact. You are thankful that He orchestrated everything so perfectly that, despite your great efforts to keep it running, His will prevailed. It’s these moments that I am so thankful that God’s hand is so much stronger than our own hands. Because He is Sovereign. And I want His Sovereignty to control our lives, not our striving and good intentions.

    I met with a woman who has had a similar experience; the company she and her husband owned collapsed several years ago. Praise God for men and women who have gone before us, with the faith to follow the Lord and not give in to the world’s ways of fear, anxiety, and materialism. Praise God! In the three hours I met with her, I was filled with unction, faith, and direction for my heart. I could write a book on the wisdom she shared with me, but there is one particular word that stands out the most. She said, “We knew God was saving us from a life of mediocrity.”

    And that did it. It was the nail in my coffin of any temptation to fear that God was not in control of our lives. Brian and I have both prayed over the years that we would be saved from a life of mediocrity, and I know God has, is and will honor our cry. And so again, I rest assured that He allowed KLM to slip through His hands–for His glory and for our sakes. He is saving us from things we cannot even fathom. His mercies have rained down upon us afresh in this new day.

    And so we stand, in faith. Knowing He is God. Hallelujah.

  • Officially showing…14 Weeks!

    From the moment we informed people about our pregnancy, people have been saying to me, “Well you look great!” Which, I’ll be honest, has baffled me a bit. Were they expecting me to gain 50 pounds upon conception? I’d BETTER look great NOW or else I’d have a REAL problem in 8 months! 🙂


    I lost a few pounds (thanks to my obsession with vomiting the last 2 1/2 months) and so starting about two weeks ago (at 12 weeks) you could see a small, but definitely pronounced, little tiny baby bump because I didn’t have any tummy left to hide it. So some people at that point said, “I see a little bump…but you look great!” At about that time was the first time I could feel myself needing the “you look great” affirmation, so at that point I WAS thankful for everyone’s kind remarks. But if you didn’t know me you would for sure just think I pigged out at lunch and decided not to hold my belly in. 


    Well, yesterday, EVERYTHING CHANGED. From the instant I walked into our church building, I had friends shout from across the room, “You’ve got a belly!!” Literally–every single person I saw put their hand on my “belly” and awed at how huge I’ve become. No you-look-great’s last night! Only, “Wow, you’ve got a huge belly!” It’s so hilarious that suddenly, for the first time in my life, it’s okay to be fat. I suck in my tummy as far as I can, and my belly still sticks out. I must say, I did have one very kind friend tell me that if you didn’t know I was pregnant, you wouldn’t be able to tell. 


    The most ironic part to me is that today I went in for a check-up and they weighed me. I happened to be in the clinic exactly 10 days ago, and when they weighed me then I was still about 4 pounds under my pre-pregnancy starting weight. Well, today when they weighed me, I had apparently gained back all 4 of those pounds, and I’m now back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I’m sorry…did you catch you that? I’VE GAINED 4 POUNDS IN 10 DAYS. And I’m still throwing up almost daily! How does that happen?!? If I continue at this rate, I will gain 73 more pounds before giving birth! Ah! 


    Anyway, that’s not even my point. My point is this: That, last night, I was (apparently) back at my PRE-pregnancy weight, and it was the first time that everyone I saw commented on how big my belly was. Umm…I’m starting to wonder if people have ALWAYS thought I had a big belly…? I mean, I know I’ve skimped on the sit-ups the last few years, but did I have a weight problem that I didn’t even know about?? Friends, if any of you would like to have a care-front with me, I am open.


    But really, the truth is, I LOVE having a belly :). I cannot WAIT to get bigger and bigger and bigger and actually have a reason to wear maternity clothes! I cannot WAIT to sport my belly with pride! For those of you that know me well, you know that I have ALWAYS loved to push my belly out as far as I can and hold it as if I were pregnant. I can’t even remember ever NOT loving to caress my belly as if it contained a sweet baby. People used to get really uncomfortable when I would do that, but NOW look at who’s caressing my belly! Every friend and perfect stranger that I see! So don’t call ME crazy…